I Can't Get No Stannisfaction
I Can't Get No Stannisfaction
The name's Lanni. I'm a twenty and one spazz that is obsessed with A Song of Ice and Fire, The Walking Dead, The Avengers, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, and much more. I'm kind of a bastard, but I make up for it by writing ASOIAF fanfic requests. I'm also getting into TWD fanfiction. If you hate Theon Greyjoy or Catelyn Stark or characters that most people hate, this blog is not for you. Also I routinely liveblog when I watch tv shows and when I'm drunk.
Home Ask Archive SubmitThe Winter's Song (Catwin)Tempering Winter (Arya x Gendry)Honor's Mistress (Cat x Stannis)The Things of Songs (fanfic requests)A Legitimate Matter of BloodWhen the Lone Wolf Dies (TWD)

ASOIAF University: eeba-ism: “When morning came, the Hound did not need to shout at Arya... 

eeba-ism:

“When morning came, the Hound did not need to shout at Arya or shake her awake. She had woken before him for a change, and even watered the horses. They broke their fast in silence, until Sandor said, “This thing about your mother…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Arya said in a dull…


10 Apr, 13 132 notes


“I am not frightened,” Edric said indignantly. “Only… is Shireen coming too?”
“No,” said Davos. “The princess must remain here with her father and mother.”
“I have to see her then,” Edric explained. “To say my farewells. Otherwise she’ll be sad.”

- A Storm of Swords


22 Feb, 13 140 notes


"i murdered my brother oh my god he was my brother oh my god he didn’t have anyone else because our parents died when he was just a baby and robert fucked off to the vale to be jon arryn’s ward and /left renly with me/ oh my god /I TOOK CARE OF HIM/ and when robert raised his banners, storm’s end was besieged and renly and i starved for him but we held storm’s end, /we held it/, then i fucked off to fucking /dragonstone/ while renly was only a little kid and i wasn’t able to take care of him anymore and he grew up not knowing his own /brothers/ oh my god, /he didn’t know me/ so it was so easy for him to /go against me/ when i became the rightful king and i had to kill him oh my gOd, i had to kill him, i had to kill my /baby brother/ oh my gOd, i’m sorry mother and father but i had to, he was a usurper, /i had to/, /I HAD TO/, AHHH FUCK EVERYTHING"  - long lost stannis chapter, a clash of aSSHOLES by george rr martin (via stannisbaratheon)


11 Oct, 12 132 notes


direpenguins:

So, Stannis, where were you at the time of Renly’s murder?

“I was still abed when he died. Your Devan will tell you. He tried to wake me.” (A Clash of Kings, Davos II)

Okay… By the way, where was Melisandre at this time?

“The priestess was with me. Your Devan would tell you so.” (A Storm of Swords, Davos III)

But I thought you said you were still in… oh. OH.


19 Sep, 12 229 notes


tumblrofthrones:

“Carl got to THAT PART of Storm of Swords. I’m so glad I was there to witness his emotional break down!” -by phuzzypanda on September 12, 2012 at 11:34 pm

tumblrofthrones:

“Carl got to THAT PART of Storm of Swords. I’m so glad I was there to witness his emotional break down!” - on  at 11:34 pm


14 Sep, 12 218 notes


Rereading: A Storm of Swords 17 

audreychristina:

“Jaime was amused, though unsurprised, to find that Ser Barristan had taken the time to record his own dismissal before leaving the castle.”

lolololol that is such a Stannis Baratheon thing to do. So some time before or after he killed the Gold Cloaks sent after him, he sat down to write this short, concise, politically correct note:

Dismissed from service by King Joffrey I Baratheon in his 61st year, for reasons of advanced age.

Although you know he was thinking something like this:

“THAT LITTLE TROLL JUST FIRED ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK? THAT’S NOT EVEN A THING, YOU CAN’T FIRE THE KINGSGUARD. EXCEPT HE JUST DID SO THERE WOULD BE A SPOT FOR SANDOR CLEGANE. SERIOUSLY? SANDOR CLEGANE? IF Y’ALL THOUGHT THE KINGSLAYER WAS BAD, JUST WAIT UNTIL…you know what? It’s not even my problem anymore. RIP Kingsguard, you were once a noble institution. I’m off to Essos to find a temperamental teenage monarch who appreciates me.”


19 Aug, 12 47 notes



“Go to him. Now. Robb, walk out of here.”

“Go to him. Now. Robb, walk out of here.”


13 Aug, 12 43 notes


At the gym the other day: 

I sat down on one of the bikes. When I looked over at the woman next to me, I saw that she was reading A Storm of Swords, probably only like 100 pages into it tops. Of course, I became super excited and said, “I love that book!” She had headphones in, but she must’ve seen how excited I was and that I was pointing at her book. She just smiled, nodded her head, and mouthed, “Me too.” I noticed that while she was reading it and riding her bike, she looked quite happy.

Then it hit me and I thought,Oh, you sweet summer child, you’ve not reached the Red Wedding or even Sansa’s wedding yet.

Like I told my friend as we were walking out: “She must not know what happens. Halfway through that back, you realize that you can’t read it in public because all you want to do is sob.”


9 Aug, 12 6 notes


I Dreamed of You: The Roadtrip of Doom Continues ... 

“Thee’th not to be touched,” the Goat screamed, spraying spittle all over Zollo. “Thee hath to be a maid, you foolth! Thee’th worth a bag of thapphireth!” And from then on, every night Hoat put guards on them, to protect them from his own.

Two nights passed in silence before the wench…


7 Aug, 12 24 notes


“A Storm of Swords” 

i-only-rescue-maidens:

“Blue is a good color on your, my lady,” Jaime observed.  ”It goes well with your eyes.”  She does have astonishing eyes.

Brienne glanced down at herself, flustered.  ”Septa Donyse padded out the bodice, to give it that shape.  She said you sent her to me.”  She lingered by the door, as if she meant to flee any second.  ”You look…”

“Different?”  He managed a half-smile.  ”More meat on the ribs and fewer lice in my hair, that’s all.  The stump’s the same.  Close the door and come here.”

She did as he bid her.  ”The white cloak…”

“…is new, but I’m sure I’ll soil it soon enough.”

“That wasn’t… I was about to say that it becomes you.”

I love this little exchange so much.  “Close the door and come here” is one of my favorite sentences in the entire series, and I can’t even explain WHY.  Just that it was this scene, right here, that convinced me that Jaime and Brienne were not, and never would be, just “friends”.  Yeah, I was ‘shipping it before this.  But this was the scene that let me know that they were ‘shipping it too.  ;)


5 Aug, 12 48 notes